Party in Heaven!

Today is mom's birthday and I bet there is a party in heaven. My mom was the ULTIMATE party planner and hostess. She threw wedding and baby showers, family holidays, birthday parties and even had a wedding and reception in her family room! Although she wouldn't be throwing a party for herself, I'm sure those with her above are celebrating a life that few could ever imagine. It was a life filled with family, friends, church, travel and LOVE!


She was so much to so many. For my dad, she was a loving wife, best friend, confidant, chef, household manager, bookkeeper, travel agent, private shopper and love of his life. She kept our busy house running like a fine tuned machine and made it look effortless.




For her 5 kids, she was a loving mother, teacher, girl scout leader, basketball coach, personal driver, nurse, chef, supporter of all activities, disciplinarian and best example of how to live a life full of love.

For her grandchildren, there are no words to all that she was to them! Such pure love I have never seen before! And for the granddaughter she never got to meet, her love and traditions live on in all of us. We will be sure that Lindie knows all about her guardian angel. There is also Lydia, the sweet girl born too soon. Now she has grandma all to herself! I can see them nesteled together in a rocking chair.



To my girls, she was so much a part of their daily lives. She cared for them when I worked, making my dream of being a flight nurse possible. I always knew they were with the best! She walked the line perfectly between grandma and caretaker on those days. She did it all with love.

So Lord, she is yours now. Give her the celebration she deserves for a life well lived! Happy Birthday, mom.

Happy New Year!

I have spent most of today doing NOTHING at work and thinking I didn't have a post on my blog. I'm not sure why I have been procrastinating but I hope it is not a sign of the year to come. I have read other blogs today and some were simple and others were profound. Still I couldn't write.

I think this is hard to write because 2008 was a year of contradictions. We had some of the lowest lows but also great times! I lost my mom in January and still feel like she gone on one of her long trips. I miss her daily! Then I had a great trip with the kids to Disney. Nothing like a little face-time with a big mouse and couple of 5 year olds to wash away some sorrow!

Then we decided to move...and the saga continues! I love my new house and neighborhood but we carried the burden (although self-imposed) of 2 mortgages. Finally relief when we got a renter for the old house!

The girls started kindergarten in the fall. How exciting...for them and me! I looked around their class and wondered if they would hold onto these friendships for 30 years like I have with my Epiphany group.

I also had the tragic loss of 2 good friends in a murder-suicide. That is when I said to God, "Enough already!" I miss you, Mike and Mary Jude.

There were still more challenges to endure before the year ended but I have a strong family and we can weather through. Thanks for all the prayers!

SO...onto a new year with a clean slate! I don't have any resolutions, just prayers for a year with less tragedy and more love. More time with family and friends and less conflict. In EMS we often go by the K.I.S.S. rule: keep it simple stupid! Maybe that's all I need.

WELCOME 2009!

A Gift with Heart

This was not an easy Christmas for my family. After losing mom in January, I dreaded the holidays. She made Christmas SOOO unbelievable with her parties, cooking and gifting. She never left anyone out!
I decided in November that this would not be a Christmas of tears because that would be contrary to everything that my mom was about. So my focus turned to my kids and family. It actually made the holidays easy to get through. I have lots of distractions with 5 year old twins and a 2 year old that finally understood the concept of Santa. Who could be sad surrounded by so much love?
Then I received a special gift from my LONG time friend, Jenni Hunstad. She gave me a book of mom's recipes. Most pages had pictures of mom and recipes in her handwriting. How special and what a surprise! The tears did come but they didn't last long. There were memories of meals we had with these recipes and that brought smiles. I can't thank Jenni enough. It must have taken a lot of time for her to gather the photos and recipes behind my back, organize them and then have the book published. Thanks!


This is her lasagna recipe. It was always what I chose for my birthday dinner!
Check out the hair!

This photo is of mom in Hawaii. She really LOVED the sun! Funny thing is...this recipe is mine. I guess she wrote it down when I gave it to her. It is for cucumber salad that was almost like Grandma Torlina's.

Thanks, Jenni, for always being one of my strongest supporters and shoulder to cry on! I love you!

Guilty Pleasures

I have many guilty pleasures in my life but the biggest is my addiction to BravoTV. SO MUCH TO LOVE!!! The Real Housewives of Orange County is what started it all for me. I love the clothes and homes. I love to see how rich people spend their days and nights. For me, it is a peek into a different world. It's a world that I don't need to be a part of, but I am very curious about.



Then last Tuesday's episode stuck a cord for me. It was no longer these characters living a crazy lifestyle, but real people with real problems. When I saw Gretchen learning to give Jeff TPN for nutrition, I had a very real flashback to the day Melanie and I learned it for my mom. I remember Melanie taking notes so that she didn't miss a step and we could later teach Sandy . I remember being nervous about it, even though I'm a nurse and had done it hundreds of times for others. I remember mom asking us to keep giving it to her in her final days because she didn't want to starve to death. All of these very real emotions came back to me. Caring for a sick family member is the hardest thing you will do in your life. It is also the most rewarding. Gretchen certainly has the means to hire someone to do these things, but chooses to do it herself. So to Gretchen, gold-digger or not, I send you warm wishes for continued strength to help the one you love.